Rocket Science

FLICK “Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strain.” Stuttering in rock music has helped to create cool-sounding songs but it can be very troublesome when it happens to a teenager in high school. So imagine what it’s like for nerdy Hal Hefner (Reece Thompson) when he’s asked to join the debate team by the brainy and attractive Ginny Ryerson (Anna Kendrick).
Director and screenwriter Jeffrey Blitz makes a nice transition from his documentary Spellbound, about training for the national spelling bee, to dramatic features with another teen tale Rocket Science.
When telling the story, Blitz doesn’t make expected choices, which is what really works here. While we want Hal to succeed and win the debate, it becomes more about self-discovery and being triumphant with oneself.
Themes and situations that suggest reasons for Hal’s lack of social skills and "disfluency" are presented but not always explored, allowing the viewer to make their own connections with the characters.
Hal’s stuttering represents the inability to express what is inside. His unstable home life with separated parents and a bullying brother serves to fester his insecurity, making him feel at odds with other adolescents while trying to find a way to fit in.
There is a lot humor but we never laugh at Hal. Thompson has a natural sincerity and is incredibly convincing at showing frustration one moment and a desire for achievement the next. You feel his embarrassment as he stammers in front of the cafeteria ladies waiting for him to decide if he’ll order fish or pizza for lunch. Though you can’t be certain of Ginny’s motivations, she has given him a goal and something to accomplish. You still wonder whether he’ll get the nerve to go a step further and make that love connection with her, even as she moves away from him.
Rocket Science is “not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation talking about my g-g-generation.” But it does simply comment on the missteps of adolescence while avoiding predictability. However you say it, this is a refreshing coming-of-age film that is certainly un-debatable. My Score: 8 out of 10.

Flight of the Conchords – The Actor

TELEVISION All the world’s a stage, and Saturday Night Live’s Will Forte isn’t the only one who gets to search for his inner thespian in this episode. Forte perfectly plays dry cleaner and semiprofessional actor Ben, who, at the urging of Bret and Jemaine, takes on the task of trying to lift Murray’s spirits. Pretending to be Stefan Gucci, a producer from Sony records, Ben ends up offering Murray a $2 million contract for the band. Thinking of promotion, Murray then gets all of the regular cast members into the act for Bret and Jemaine’s Lord of the Rings spoof-video “Frodo, Don’t Wear the Ring.” You can read my recap at TV Guide.com then check out the video below.

TOP CHEF – Second Helping

TELEVISION Someone came up with a good recipe for entertainment when it was decided that this episode would be a continuation of the Restaurant Wars because the non-stop excitement was served speedier than burgers at a fast food joint. Beginning with the appropriately titled Quickfire Challenge, swiftness was essential when creating mise en place, the prep work done to make the kitchen or dining room of a restaurant run more smoothly. Keeping the same teams as before, the first to finish shucking oysters, dicing onions, breaking down chickens and whisking egg whites would have the benefit of spending an extra $200 plus the assistance of a sommelier. With Brian’s experience working with seafood, Team April started off fine but failed dismally when Casey took dicing onions to a creative instead of practical level, (in other words she’s slooow), and never giving CJ and Tre a chance to compete before The Garage team won the challenge.
Before diving into day two, the chefs were able to reassess what failed the first time and were offered critiques by the surprise blogger, Andrea Strong, and assistance from interior designer, Christopher Ciccone. Though he actually helped to fine tune the décor, everyone was reluctant to meet up with the smug Ciccone, who later disagreed with The Garage’s name change to Quatre, saying the word for four in French was not pretty. It’s a good thing Ciccone is not on every week or this show would become the nasty dish-fest like Simon Cowell promotes on American Idol.
Familiar faces appeared as service began. Past season three chef-testants like Sara N, Lia and Joey were guest diners, and season one’s Stephen was the wine steward for restaurant Quatre. I don’t know if it helped, but Dale politely asked him to tone down his intrusively talkative style.
As both teams suck it up and make changes, Quatre takes a bigger gulp with their more extreme makeover. It helped that there were two offerings per course this time instead of one. Dale contributed a dish of Mint Gnocchi and Poussin with Split Pea Puree but was totally dissed by Ted Allen for wearing a polo shirt and jeans to greet and serve the guests. Quatre also got rid of Howie’s disastrous risotto and substituted Halibut with Braised Leeks and Grapes. Sticking with the previously successful Tuna Tartare, guest judge Geoffrey Zakarian, chef and author of "Town/Country," called the dish clichéd. So does that mean one should never serve it again?
The criticisms for restaurant Quatre were minimal and it won the war. As executive chef, Sara held it together and was voted the winner on the team. Quite the opposite happened with restaurant April. CJ, who assembled “the dream team,” was sited for not keeping them focused and for spending too much time making only one dish – an overly-salted Lobster Salad. Padma called Casey’s Seared Monkfish with Buerre Blanc overcooked, though her Chilled Carrot and Ginger Soup worked. But poor executive chef Tre was grilled for re-serving the Seared Tenderloin with Gorgonzola, combining too many flavors in a beet-marinated Salmon over Macadamia Pesto with Grapefruit, and not smoothing out a chunky Apple Brioche Bread Pudding. Though I thought he would make it as a finalist, Tre was asked to pack his knives and go.

Flight of the Conchords – New Fans

TELEVISION It was fun spending a little more time with our faithful fan Mel who was not too pleased with newbies Summer and Rain as they wanted more than just dinner with Jemaine and Bret. And learning a little about Mel and Doug’s past, it seems there may have been legal issues concerning possibly a restraining order against Mel with Doug’s former family shortly after they met. Mel says she always gets what she wants. She got Doug, but Bret and Jemaine left with the girls to get whacked out – on drugs.

Check out my FOTC posting at TV Guide, and then take a psychedelic trip with the "Prince of Parties."

Death at a Funeral

The wacky world of mourning is laid to rest in Frank Oz’s Death at a Funeral, a black comedy that becomes a solemn occasion. When a British family gathers at the memorial service for their patriarch, a series of non-stop farcical moments follow that fall flat and feel strained. Things begin humorously enough when the wrong coffin is delivered to the country house of the deceased’s son Daniel (Matthew MacFayden), a relatively calm man who lives in the shadow of his novelist brother, Robert (Rupert Graves). But pacing problems and strained jokes about bowel movements, hypochondria and blackmail become grave errors.
One unoriginal plot point about a mislabeled pill bottle comes to life when Simon (Alan Tudyk), nervous about making a good impression on his fiancée’s family, swallows hallucinogens instead of Valium. Appearing nude on the rooftop limply shows his rebirth and regaining confidence. Tudyk’s performance is way over the top but his pratfalls and silly expressions breathe life amid ridiculously unmoving elements of surprise. As an unexpected mysterious guest, Peter Dinklage elicits an emotional response, as he is simultaneously a victim and an attempted extortionist.
But the real nail in the coffin is the element of the gay surprise, when the characters are horrified to discover that someone has a secret life. We can’t know everything about a person but this supposed scandal doesn’t need to paralyze straight people. You’d think by now people would become accustomed to individuality. Is it funny when one presumes that everyone behaves the same in his or her bedroom only to find out that that they don’t? You’re killing me. My Score: 6 out of 10.

The Invasion

FLICK Anytime a science fiction classic is remade, or any good film is updated for that matter, the new version usually will have to redefine it to make the venture worthwhile and escape the wrath of moviegoers and critics. As John Water’s once said, it’s the bad movies that should be remade, not the good ones.
In The Invasion, the latest incarnation of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, the story has stayed relatively the same, but it has a slicker look than the prior adaptations and stars Nicole Kidman. Though Daniel Craig is given second billing, he has way too little screen time.
It all begins when a space shuttle reenters the earth’s atmosphere and crashes, releasing a strange substance unknown to scientists as well as doctors at the Center for Disease Control. Jeremy Northam is one of those doctors as well as Kidman’s estranged ex-husband who gives good stares and is our first clue that at the signpost up ahead our next stop will be the twilight zone. Kidman is a mother and a psychiatrist who deals with the emotions of her patients, yet everywhere she turns people are starting to lose their personalities and possess the same blank expressions. I wouldn’t say she’s miscast, but Kidman has this same tabula rasa look from the beginning and creates little distinction later when she’s trying to blend in.
Creepier than The Stepford Wives, and more effectively suspenseful than Kidman’s ex-husband’s assault movie War of the Worlds, The Invasion is successful as an action thriller plus uses subtle political undertones that were present in the earlier works. When it's announced that they come in peace, and later you see George Bush signing a treaty on the television, you might question why allowing the takeover would be a bad thing. That this “danger” is never explored is just one of the film's faults. You could question the implausibility of some scenes, but it’s a sci-fi mystery so it’s fair game.
Though directed by Oscar-nominated Oliver Hirschbiegel (Downfall) much has been made about the Wachowski brothers’ uncredited overhaul of the chase scenes, which work but seem to go on a bit longer than needed. The sections apparently by Hirschbiegel are more nightmarish and create a sense of paranoia.

Oh, and don’t go to sleep. My Score: 7.5 out of 10.

TOP CHEF – Restaurant Wars

TELEVISION If you’re going to have a competition to create a gourmet burger, it’s most appropriate to have renowned chef Daniel Boulud, who offers $32 burgers at his DB Bistro Moderne in New York City, as the evening’s guest judge. The Quickfire Challenge had the majority of the chefs creating assorted seafood burgers but, playing to Boulud’s strong suit, only the sweaty Howie used truffles with his burger and was one of the favorites. Sara made a crab burger with a citrus remoulade that looked delicious but while trying to keep it light in carbs, she was criticized for serving it on lettuce instead of a bun. The big winner was CJ serving a Scallop Mousse and Shrimp Burger with Tangerine. Speedy Padma was prompt in telling him that from this point on the QF winner will no longer have immunity in the Elimination Challenge.
Having worked in many restaurants, the EC in this episode was one of my favorites. The chef-testants were to divide into two groups and open a restaurant from scratch. CJ was given an advantage for winning the QFC and was allowed to choose his own team. Though he picked what I thought would be a strong team, Brian, Casey and Tre, what he didn’t consider was the lack of restaurant experience three of the four had.
Beyond creating a menu, starting up a restaurant has many variables that need to come together, like a concept, décor, service and a catchy name that could come from anything. CJ’s sister is named April, so his team went with that. Inspired by the blank slate of a room, the other team named their bistro The Garage, which might be nice for a supply store but maybe not so great for a dining experience.
While shopping for the front of the house, Casey mentioned to Brian about getting something that smelled for the table but Brian knew better and went with a décor that was soft and light. Unfortunately, Dale and Hung went with an industrial look of black table cloths with strong vanilla-scented candles that everyone found offensive. Does Dale really have a weak sense of smell? And it was funny to hear Dale say that Queer Eye has nothing on his decorating sense. You can check out Ted Allen’s response at his blog.

Restaurant April: Tre was executive chef and CJ was sous chef. The first thing Padma mentions after being seated is the dust on the plates. Yuck! Brian took care of service and was told he was sweating a lot. (Did no one ever see Howie in the kitchen?)
Menu
1. Seared Sea Scallop on Corn and Truffle Custard (I assume this was Casey’s dish)
2. Grouper with Shellfish and Artichoke Hearts was CJ’s and the fish looked great.
3. Wild Mushroom and Gorgonzola Crusted Beef Tenderloin with Smoked Potatoes. Tre created this dish but the smoked potatoes overpowered it all.
4. Apple Tart Tatin

The Garage: Sara was head chef, Howie sous chef, Dale did no cooking. This menu was considered too rich for a warm summer night.
Menu
1. Tuna Tartare with Nicoise Olive Puree was Hung’s and was told it was delicate and successful, though with too much white asparagus
2. Mushroom Risotto with Foie Gras and Truffles was thick and “gluey.” Howie nonetheless liked the way he made it with heavy cream and parmesan cheese.
3. Braised Lamb Shanks by Sara only added to the overall heaviness of the menu.
4. Crepes with Dark Chocolate Again, something lighter was needed

Brian and Dale, the two in front of the house, were called to face the judges, who made a good decision. They were told that no one was going home. They all have another chance to make changes and reopen their restaurants next week. Tom said to consider it a soft opening.
Taking notes throughout dinner was Andrea Strong, a writer of a weekly blog pertaining to dining out in NYC. Check Gail Simmon’s blog for her experience with Chef Daniel Boulud, who thoughtfully handed out copies of his book of essays, Letters to a Young Chef, to the contenders.
I tend to agree with the Text Poll: At which restaurant would you make reservations? April 75%, The Garage 15%

RAOUL BOVA

Though he’s been hot on the Italian scene for a while, I first took notice of actor Raoul Bova when he did a Gap jeans commercial in 2003. Suddenly I saw him everywhere, courting Diane Lane in Under the Tuscan Sun and the object of Giovanna Mezzogiorno’s affection in Facing Windows (La Finestra di fronte). It’s this second film, directed by Ferzan Ozpetek (His Secret Life), about an unhappily married mother and housewife (Mezzogiorno) who daydreams about the man next door that made an impact on me. In his complicated and passionate role of Lorenzo, the Clark Kent-glasses (or mini-windows) Raoul wears do nothing to detract from the Italian heartthrob.

Born August 14, 1971 in Rome, Italy, Raoul was a swimming champion in his teens and began acting after serving in the Italian Army. His first starring role was for television but he easily moved into a wide variety of film parts. Somewhat accessible to Americans, Bova can be seen, when not wearing a space helmet, in diverse parts such an archaeologist in Alien vs. Predator, a priest in the 2005 TV movie Karol: A Man Who Became Pope, and briefly as Rosanna Arquette’s husband Lorenzo on the ABC show “What About Brian.” He has been happily married to Chiara Giordano since March 2000 and has squashed the dreams of many hoping to make a love connection with him. With several upcoming English and Italian-language movies, Raoul Bova is someone you'll want to keep your eyes on.

Buon compleanno, Raoul!

• Apparently successful with the first, Raoul made a second Gap ad.
• Another Italian, Madonna Louise Ciccone, had lips stuck with Raoul in a Max Factor commercial in 1999.
• And be sure to check out Raoul's Official Website.

My Best Friend

FLICK Friendship. What’s the perfect blendship? Director Patrice Leconte explores what goes into personal relationships in My Best Friend (Mon meilleur ami), a light comedy that would most likely become overly sentimental in the hands of a typical American director. The acting and directing capture appropriate tone and details to give insight to the main characters without becoming a thorough psychological examination on the nature of sociology.
Daniel Auteuil has a way of choosing just the right expressions and inflections when playing François, a successful businessman who has no problems dealing with antiques but doesn’t realize he lacks the necessary skills to deal with people on a close intimate basis. We get a glimpse of him caring more for things in the first scene when, at a funeral, he finagles a piece of furniture from the wife of the deceased.
When his business partner makes a bet with him that he can’t produce a best friend within 10 days, he finds the challenge is harder than he imagined. Searching for a pal, he meets taxi driver Bruno (Dany Boon) who is willing to show him ways of connecting with people and learning that if you’re ever in a jam, here I am. But becoming the other half of this odd couple may not have all the rewards Bruno is looking for.
The film shows that human interactions are not to be taken for granted and the difference between being a nice or friendly person is subtly distinguished with the bonds we make. In the end, you’ll wonder how many people you can truly say when other friendships have been forgot, ours will still be hot. My Score: 8 out of 10.

Flight of the Conchords – What Goes on Tour

TELEVISION It’s raining mermaids, hallelujah! But for Bret and Jemaine, they are no match for a women’s water-polo team that they meet at the hotel where they are staying. That rain also does a number on their new leather suits, which not only shrink but rides up a little too close in the crotch for Jemaine. Amen.

If you’re having fun watching Flight of the Conchords or want to find out what they’re all about, go on and get yourself absolutely soaking wet by checking out my episode recap blog at TV Guide. Then go see the video for the song "Mermaids. "

Stardust

FLICK Twinkle, twinkle, everyone’s looking for a little star in this fun romantic fantasy. Narrated by Ian McKellen, Stardust centers on the charming Tristan (Charlie Cox), who comes from a small village called Wall, because a stone wall separates it from the magical kingdom of Stormhold. When he promises to bring a fallen star within a week to Victoria (Sienna Miller) the girl of his dreams, it sets off an adventure escaping the clutches of evil witches, comical ghostly princes and a boatful of bandits.
You never know what you’re going to get when you wish upon a star. In this story, that would be Yvaine (Claire Danes), who is the star that falls to earth and inhabits a human body. Becoming Tristan’s new love interest, and looking curiously like Gwyneth Paltrow, Danes doesn’t emit much emotion except when she’s confused and turns her face into a scrunchy.
Michelle Pfeiffer plays Lamia, the hideous hag who turns herself into a beautiful enchantress hoping to trap the young couple and cut out Yvaine’s heart. Pfeiffer is so dazzling (and Danes is so bland) that you almost wish she would succeed.
Always on the run, Tristan and Yvaine meet up with Captain Shakespeare (Robert De Niro) who navigates a flying pirate ship. It is here that Tristan transforms into an adult and gets a complete makeover from the cross-dressing skipper. Gay or not, or just feeling pretty, DeNiro seems delighted to be camping it up while applying makeup and wearing a boa over a sundress in the captain’s quarters.
Despite a few missteps and getting a little bogged down in the middle, this fabulous fairy tale has some marvelous special effects and is told with lots of humor. Except for Danes, the acting is generally spot on. Impressive supporting performances include Ricky Gervais, Jason Flemyng, Rupert Everett, and Peter O’ Toole.
When I screened the film, a couple brought a baby into the theater that occasionally cried and made other sorts of distracting noises. It only stressed how much this movie would appeal more to adults than children. My Score: 8 out of 10.

Rufus Wainwright – Release the Stars

MUSIC Don’t be startled by the man wearing the lederhosen and looking like one of the Von Trapp kids on the inside sleeve of Release the Stars. That’s just Rufus Wainwright looking cute and deceivingly innocent on an amazing album that displays not only his growth as a singer-songwriter but as a man considering his place in the world.
Starting with the question in the opening song “Do I Disappoint You” right through the end of the twelfth and title track, Rufus pleases the ears with varied rhythms and thoughtful rhymes. Enlisting the help of Pet Shop Boys’ Neil Tennant as producer, the use of lush orchestrations on most tunes only enhances the sound that seems to whirl and swirls to transport you over the rainbow.
Getting away or perhaps moving forward is a theme that creeps up in a few songs. In “Going to a Town” he, along with so many others, is so tired of the America evolved from the George Bush era. He reluctantly relates that he “may just never see you again” because he’s “got a life to live” relating to the fact that this country has a tendency to hold people back and judge those with opinions and lifestyles not held by the majority. ("Do you really think you go to hell for having loved?") His passion extends beyond politics to the heart as he softly sings the toned-down ballad “Leaving for Paris” most likely parting from a lover.
Balancing the use of flutes and trumpets, Rufus rocks with the crankin’ guitar-driven “Between My Legs.” And belts out that everyone must follow the instincts of the birds and the bees in “Rules and Regulations.” In “Slideshow” we get the accumulation of all of these elements as he wants to know “do I love you because you treat me so indifferently or is it the medication.” He’s looking for a return on his emotional and financial investment when he blares out that he “better be prominently featured in your next slideshow.” And don't we all want want to be our loved one's hot topic?
With subtleties and metaphors Rufus always puts himself out there. It’s the variety of themes and sounds that has made the entire album my favorite set of songs all summer long. To answer the first question, Rufus does not disappoint.

Videos from Release the Stars at YouTube:

Rules and Regulations

Going to a Town

TOP CHEF – Guilty Pleasures

TELEVISION You scream, I scream, and the chef-testants screamed when told that the Quickfire Challenge involved Cold Stone ice cream. They were to create original mixes to work with the sweet cream flavor of this week’s promo product. Some kept it simple and others scooped up as many ingredients as possible.
Tonight’s guest judge was long-braided chef and author Govind Armstrong, owner of Table 8 in Los Angeles and Miami. He and Padma thought Casey’s Sriracha Sauce with Poblano, Dried Apricots and Potato Chips had too much going on but her dish actually made Chef Govind shudder. Thinking too far outside of the ice cream carton again instead of perfecting something simple that any monkey could love was Hung who offered white chocolate, candied pistachios, mint, tempura flakes and, surprise, a cauliflower foam. Not singled out was Tre’s Candied Hazelnuts with Raspberry Ginger Sauce that I would love to have tasted. Howie was favored with his Balsamic Mixed Berries but Dale won immunity with his Flambéed Peach Cobbler with Candied Pecans.
For the Elimination Challenge, Padma announces that the chefs are off the hook for now and to go out and enjoy the Miami nightlife. So everyone goes back to the hotel, gets dressed up and is driven in a white limo to Café Nikki, where CJ says their dreams came to a crashing halt. Padma is standing with Chef Govind and tells them they are to split into two teams and create a late night bar food menu to be prepared in and served from mobile kitchens. Some, particularly Casey and Sara N were not amused by the bait and switch. On the one hand they should expect the unexpected. On the other hand, not only are they not wearing protective clothes, they are in high heels which could be dangerous even if they took them off and went barefoot.
Dale totally lucks out and learns he has the night off to share a romantic, uh, make that a private four-course dinner with Chef Govind. The two seem to become fast friends as Dale holds the door like a perfect gentleman and the two clink wine glasses together. Maybe there is a challenge in there somewhere. (But what briefly appears onscreen is another fake out as it’s been reported that Chef Govind has recently proposed to his girlfriend.)
The Black Team, consisting of Hung, Sara M, Tre and Brian, seemed to fall right into place by first assessing the kitchen space then appearing to go into their comfort zones. Brian ran the raw bar spotlighting Oysters with a Watermelon Mignonette. Sara M’s Jerked Soft Tacos didn’t look appealing to me and Hung got called out for his Teriyaki Chicken Wings. But the team won and Tre took the top honors pleasing everyone with his Bacon Wrapped Shrimp over Cheesy Grits.
Everyone senses from the beginning that the Orange Team will have problems. The judges eventually told CJ that he should have pulled the team together, and being the most levelheaded of the four he could have. But our bulldog Howie jumps in and is allowed to dictate since he had experience creating bar food. That’s too bad since his Media Noche Cuban Sandwiches were called a big doughy mess. Casey’s four cheese quesadillas looked scrumptious and I wasn’t sold on CJ’s ceviche tacos, and didn’t seem appetizing after a night of cocktails. But Sara N had the most problems, especially with Howie. First he was breathing down her neck while making Sliders (mini hamburgers that seemed dry and unoriginal) and thick Milkshakes, and then called her the baby of the house in front of the judges. She may be the youngest but his words sliced like a knife, which she was asked to pack and then go.

It seemed as if the judging happened right after the challenge. The chefs bought food at around 10:45pm and started serving it at 1:45am. Was the judging happening at 5am?

The text poll for this episode asked which chef would you most like to share a midnight snack with. Brian and Casey each got 16%, Tre was a close second with 32% and CJ led the voting with 36%. But would you really want to eat his ceviche tacos at midnight?

El Cantante

FLICKS “El Cantante De Los Cantantes” is the nickname that refers to the famed salsa singer Héctor Lavoe, who moved to New York from Puerto Rico in the early 1960s against the wishes of his father and set the world of Latin music on fire only to crash and burn out too soon. So why does it seem that this biopic gives us more of his wife Puchi than it does of Héctor?
Vocalist Marc Anthony totally embodies Lavoe with his charismatic stage presence, performing the songs with romantic energy and style. And though the music is terrific, a better script would make the movie feel less like a promotional tool for a tribute album. (And it really makes you want to own that entire album!)
The story is told by Lavoe’s wife Puchi, played by Anthony’s wife Jennifer Lopez, who doesn’t seem to be the most reliable narrator, though they do convincingly portray a couple devoted to each other. But we scarcely get a sense of what their family life must have been like and never feel close to them.
As directed and co-written by Leon Ichaso, and produced by Lopez, they are more interested in presenting Héctor spiraling downward as he takes more drugs and contracts AIDS, instead of showing his star rise and how he achieved his popularity. There is little in the way of learning how any of the revolutionary music evolved, which should be the film’s essence.
Though they tend to focus on the negatives, the positive moments are most memorable. In the end, it’s the music itself that shines and deserves the respect the filmmakers have affectionately presented. Perhaps the title should have been changed to La Música. My Score: 6.5 out of 10.

Flight of the Conchord – Girlfriends

I swear this blog isn’t becoming totally devoted to Flight of the Conchords, but I've seemed to have had good luck with them this week and the guys just crack me up.

This episode is one of their best! The two musical numbers, “A Kiss Is Not a Contract” and the French souffle “Foux Da Fa Fa,” posted at You Tube, are really well done and would make many including Serge Ganisbourg smile.


And I’ve recently taken over the FOTC blog at tvguide.com. Click here to check it out when you get a chance.

Flight of the Conchords – Drive By

TELEVISION Several weeks ago Bret and Jemaine were singing about the "Tape of Love" and how we should all stick together. This week our dynamic duo get a real taste of America when they become the victims of discrimination when attempting to buy fruit. It’s too bad the street vendor who denies them an apple and a banana because they are from New Zealand didn’t hear that song before pushing them to the brink of tears. But then we wouldn’t have had my favorite part of the show, which was Dave (who says there is a lot of "prejudism" in this country then wanted to frame the vendor in retaliation for murder) teaching the guys how to flip the bird – without using wings. (Don’t you think they really needed a back light to project the birds onto a wall?)
This episode had a moment that was close to feeling like an After School Special, with Bret and Jemaine sniffling when watching "Albi the Racist Dragon" (who lives in a cottage cheese cottage and cries jelly beans.) But every sentimental moment is balanced with lightness, like when they use hip hop to project anger but sound more like they’re burping when singing that "there's too many mutha uckas uckin' with my shi-…"
I hated seeing the guys getting picked on, especially when the cruelest thing Jemaine can think of for revenge on the street vendor is to think mean thoughts. And I was a little surprised that Jemaine knew the word xenophobe when he said that’s what the vendor was – instead of a racist.
I missed running into obsessive fan Mel this week, but that only gave us more time with Conchords manager Murray, who had a school-boy crush on the tech support girl. Maybe Murray is onto something creating an un-convoluted one-word love song "Hi". But you know he’ll move on when, at the end of the show, he sings, "Goodbye" to the leggy blond accompanied with cool sound effects from the office, like snapping scissors or tape. (The sticky stuff.) Murray will have to be content with the gift from his mother, the DVD, or Dubbed Video Dub.
So, in order to live in a better world, we should remember the profound words spoken by Jemaine: You’re a person and I’m a person and each person deserves to be treated… like a person.

TOP CHEF – Freezer Burn

TELEVISION If you’re not one who does well on oral exams, then the Quickfire Challenge in this episode is not for you. The producers prove that their ideas are not half-baked when the chef-testants were put on the spot with a Culinary Bee, identifying by sight or taste a variety of unusual and ordinary items like Japanese eggplant, fish paste, miso, tahini, and quail eggs. But how difficult is it to identify oatmeal, kidney beans or bow-tie pasta? They should have at least required farfalle for the answer. Howie touted himself an academic but didn’t make it more than two rounds. CJ commented that Hung should do well but holding him back was his asshole-arrogant factor, which is indeed what happened. Had he tasted the celery seed before responding incorrectly he might have beat Casey, who won immunity.
Tonight’s guest judge was celebrity chef Rocco DeSpirito, who fit right in but looked like he left a cucumber mask on his face for a few weeks. Italian food company Bertolli, who offered the winners two tickets each to Italy, sponsored the Elimination Challenge. With the frozen dinner meal market worth $8.6 billion in the US alone, Bertolli could have had the entire episode filmed in Italy. The 10 remaining chefs were asked to pair up and create their own frozen dinner, which could be cooked in less than 10 minutes.
When shopping for ingredients, chicken and shrimp seemed to be most popular. Only Casey and Dale thought outside the pasta box and made meatballs. But the secret was inspecting how Bertolli packaged their product. Tre and CJ not only made the best use of their time but also individually froze each ingredient, allowing their Black Truffle and Parmesan Linguini with Chicken, Kale and Tomato Confit to retain most of its moisture. Their attention to detail became obvious and won them the challenge and the trip. It was almost unsettling to hear Rocco, and even CJ, call out Tom for questioning the Mediterranean-ness of the truffles.
Casey and Dale came in second with their Turkey and Pork Meatballs with Orecchiette in a Spinach Almond Pesto. But they had served Rocco a meatball that was still partially frozen and Chef Tom thought the artichokes in the dish had a tinny citric acid flavor. Winning immunity didn’t make Casey any less a team player, either with Dale or helping others bag their food for the freezer.
Hung was the first to mention freezing items individually but it somehow got lost in translation with his partner Joey because their Tricolor Fusilli with Garlic Chicken and Sun-dried Tomatoes came out of the bag in a lump. The pasta was stored with the sauce causing it to absorb the liquid and become mushy. They couldn’t even "sell" their free food to any of the customers. This team was on the chopping block at the Judge’s Table along with Howie and Sara M who didn’t work well together at all and didn’t even agree on the pasta to use. Their Shrimp Pasta with Fennel and Sun-dried Tomato Vinaigrette turned out dry and was called a disaster. Though Chef Tom repeated several times he didn’t see her contribute anything, Sara told the judges that she made many suggestions that bulldog Howie chose to ignore. I thought this interaction would send Sara packing her knives but it was Joey, who became very emotional when asked to leave.
Tonight’s text poll asked which chef annoys you most. I have no idea why Brian was included but he got 2% of the votes followed by Sara M with 16% and Howie with only 22%. But the winner with 60%, who probably thought the voters didn’t understand the question and I’m sure did not hang his head in shame, was Hung.