10,000 B.C.
FLICK Knowing the kind of lightweight big-budget movies director Roland Emmerich has produced (Independence Day, Godzilla) I had my doubts about going to the screening of 10,000 B.C. But when I lost interest in the film within the first 10 minutes I knew I was in trouble.
The plot centers on a love story. D'Leh (Steven Strait) meets the love of his life, the blue-eyed Evolet (Camilla Belle). When a mysterious and unidentified gang kidnaps her, D'Leh leads a small group of hunters from snow-covered mountain peaks through a tropical jungle and then the dry sand of desert to save her. How long would this take by foot? Then there is some fighting…
My mind drifts: Why do some actors speaking English do so with an accent and some without one? Do the bad guys have to speak in another unidentified language – shown with subtitles – to create more realism?
D'Leh and the dudes try to escape a stampede of mammoths. Their long curvy tusks look pretty good but overall not very scary. It looks as if the makeup department worked overtime draping long, straggly hair on them but given their number they no doubt are computer-generated images.
My mind drifts again: how did they make pants for those guys in 10,000 B.C.?
Though the mammoths, saber tooth tigers and landscapes were visually captivating we should care more about the characters and not be distracted by things like plucked eyebrows and dreadlocks.
My mind wanders to the dark side: Steven Strait occasionally looks like Colin Farrell but with a more buff body. I wonder what his workout routine is. And with his pearly teeth shining brightly, how often does he get them whitened? Did he think health coverage included dental cleanings for cavemen?
